Virtus daily blog # 54 - This is me
As I sit here writing this I can say that right now from the outside in, it looks like things are currently coming up Milhouse.
Virtus is ticking along, GIN. has launched and it tastes delicious. And my mentoring side hustle True North is getting interest with the first students starting in a few weeks.
I can also say, that more often than not, I feel like a fraud. Like I somehow lucked out and that any minute it could all come tumbling down.
And if that happened, I would be letting everybody down. Everybody who has contributed to this thing that we are trying to do. This thing that started as an idea and now seemingly has a life of its own.
There are so many people counting on me to show up and do the work. Staff, friends, family and our community of humans who I feel so indebted to I would do anything for them. I feel the weight of expectation to do the best I can for them every day.
Virtus started (officially) when I was 23, I went into business wide eyed and with no idea what I was doing. We had an idea, we wanted to make a change. We had a crack.
Fast forward 42 months.
It kind of worked.
I'm now 27 and I feel that everything I learn in business and in life uncovers another 10 things that I don't know.
Some days it feels like a lot of despair. Others if feels like I'm sitting atop a mountain.
Every time I 'fail' I learn something else. How to do better. How to improve on last time. How to avoid the same mistake in 6 months time.
Even the 'successes' teach me more than I could ever have imagined. In everything we do I see the holes. I see flaws in every win that we have. That never ending list of ways to get better grows faster than anything else.
The imposter syndrome doesn't go away. But the more I read and speak to those at the top of their game, the more I understand that others feel it too.
At the end of the day i think I'm doing ok.
I'll continue to do my best.
I'll always try to ask for help.
I'll attempt to admit when I'm wrong (it's often)
And I'll never stop having a crack to create something that makes a difference in people's lives.
This is the hardest thing I've ever done, but it was the only thing I was ever going to do.
I promise I will never stop chasing my edges and challenging myself to be a better version of who I am.
This is me.
Doing my best. With the people who deserve the best.