Virtus Daily Blog #5 - How are you getting in your own way?
“Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world.”
// Eckhart Tolle
Whatever you have or don’t have, whatever goals you achieve or don’t achieve, whichever frustrations or excitements you are currently experiencing in your life, all of it, its your fault. Whoever you are, its your fault.
* I am aware that a significant amount of our personality is fixed because of our genetics, environment, family etc but as long as at least 1% of who we are is adaptable, its an unnecessary conversation to just decide to give up any control.
You are at fault. You are the problem.
I don’t say that to sound like a dick, even though to a certain population, you might have had that reaction.
To change what we experience, we need to change who we are. We are more malleable than we give ourselves credit for. We are completely responsible for the results we achieve… and don’t.
What is an area of your life which you are the bottleneck? How can you take ownership of the situation?
Is it in a relationship? At work? Amongst your team? With your health and fitness? That thing you want to achieve?
We all have an improvement goal which we desire to achieve. We both do things and don’t do things to move towards it. As we try to grow we have many competing commitments (Do I spend the extra hour at work or do I get home to spend time with my family?) and we have a whole heap of big assumptions and fears as to why we are not yet achieving the thing.
It’s hard to work through, it’s a process, it takes time, any adaptation does. But ask yourself this question, and be vulnerable enough to deep dive into the unknown
How are you getting in your own way?
The sooner you take responsibility for the process, you take responsibility for the outcome, even though the result is never truly in your control.
I know this is a hard question to answer. So let me be the case study for a moment.
I hold the belief that I’m an incredibly driven. That I’ll do anything it takes to get to where I want to go. I’m starting to realise that, this is an assumption I’ve been holding. I find myself becoming more risk averse. I’m taking less chances. I let a fear of the unknown paralyse me into inaction. I sit on my hands. I don’t pursue true growth events and I creep back into what is comfortable and familiar. I have two decisions to make. I can either, continue to exhibit these behaviours. Or… I can ask myself the right questions, take the right actions and seek disconfirming information from myself and those around me to ignore my own bullshit and work on becoming the person I need to be to achieve what I want to achieve.
If you’d like to continue this discussion, reach out, I’m always up for a chat.
To your development.