Virtus Daily Blog #28 - Choose To Be good Enough… I Dare You.
For years I believed I’m not good enough. I thought to myself – “When I get down to __% body fat, then I’ll be confident”, “When I am running a huge & successful business, then I’ll be wealthy”, “When I move out of home, then I’ll be happy” or “When I am in an awesome relationship, then I’ll be fulfilled”.
It’s the trap of thinking – “If I do all these things… then I’ll be good enough”.
The truth is, this way of thinking leads to us never feeling like we are enough. We achieve the thing (whatever the thing is) then we want more. OR.. we don’t achieve the thing, and we use this as proof that we suck. We then convince ourselves that moving the goal posts and striving for the next big thing will make us happy. And only once we achieve that, will we be enough (because we are constantly reiterating to ourselves that we are not enough right now).
Now I’m not saying we shouldn’t set goals or we shouldn’t strive to be better than the person we were yesterday. What I am saying is happiness is a choice. Being ‘enough’ as a human being is a choice. It’s YOUR choice.
What if you woke up tomorrow morning and decided to feel happy? What if you woke up and decided you were good enough? Would you act differently? How would you show up at work? How would you treat others? How would you treat yourself? Can you start treating yourself that way now..?
Once we place this identity on ourselves (ie. I am a person who is not good enough), then our behaviour is in line with that identity we are CHOOSING. It all comes back to what we focus on. If I focus on all the things about me that make me feel like I’m not good enough, all I’m going to see in my life is more evidence that I’m right. That I am in fact not good enough. Alternatively, if I focus on all the things I do well at and that make me feel good about myself, I’m going to start seeing more evidence in my life of things I do well. And that make me feel good about myself.
A great example of this is money. For years, I believed I was a poor uni student with a huge HECS debt, living paycheck to paycheck and thinking I never had enough money. My identity around money was “I am poor, I don’t have enough” and this was absolutely true for me at the time. It was also all I was focusing on so of course I believed it – it was the “truth”.
Here’s the shift:
Imagine I went to a 3rd world country and began complaining about my lack of wealth and my ‘poverty’ to anyone there. To someone who might not have clean water, a home, or the opportunity to have further education. The “truth” for that person, would have been that I was wealthy. Their “truth” would have been that I had everything I needed and more! I’m sure they would have loved the opportunity to go to university and have a HECS debt, or to earn a weekly income.
The point is – it’s the same circumstance. The exact same circumstance. Different perspective.
Here’s the truth – if you are currently reading this blog post – you are wealthy. Period. If you have a mobile phone, or laptop or computer screen to read this on – you are wealthy. It’s a shift in focus and a shift in perspective. That’s it.
I’m not sitting here telling you what to believe. You can believe what you want. My suggestion is to choose to believe things that SERVE you and be grateful for what you DO have.
My old beliefs don’t serve me anymore, so I now choose different beliefs. The biggest thing to note is – my body fat % hasn’t changed, my living situation hasn’t changed, my job hasn’t changed, and my relationship status hasn’t changed. The thing that has changed is my perspective, because I’ve made the choice to shift my focus. My mindset is the thing that’s changed. All I’ve done is that I have decided to believe things that will serve me, so I can feel how I want to feel, and experience life how I want to experience it.
So, I now believe I am good enough because I am a human being that exists. Period. I believe I can feel confident now without it mattering what body fat % I am. I believe I am wealthy because I live in Australia, I have a roof over my head, I own a car, I have a job and I can pay for food each week. I believe I can feel happy if I simply choose to feel happy. I believe I am fulfilled and whole, whether I am in a relationship or not. I choose to believe these things because they serve me.
I now choose to be enough, so I am.
What do you choose..?